My wife, Edie, suggested the topic for this week’s SeniorFlow Moment. She leaves this coming weekend for an annual “get together” of old College friends and roommates in Natural Bridge, Virginia. They have been getting together annually for many years in various locations throughout Virginia and about five or so years ago, found a place that all six of them really enjoy and Natural Bridge became the standard location for this annual reunion of the “Radford Ladies”. They spend five days together in a “Vine Cottage” on a large estate which has been converted to a B&B, with an outlying cottage or two which serve as self-contained units for larger groups.
Edie stressed how important old friends and social interaction in general is to all of us as we get older. Once we retire, major changes take place in our lives. Often, after the initial euphoria of not having to put in the daily working grind wears off, there is a tendency toward boredom, isolation, lethargy, and sometimes depression.
Edie’s trips are not unique. Men and women often have annual golf outings where they get together for an annual golf trip at a remote location. People often go on cruises, meet new people, and then meet up with them for an annual cruise to somewhere new each year. Often these new friendships go on for life.
In Dan Buettner’s famous book, Blue Zones, about locations throughout the world where there are large numbers of people who live to be over 100, he writes about how Social Circles help keep people interacting and alive. He cites the people of Okinawa as creating “Moais”, groups of people who formed their own social group, and who commit to social interaction and mutual support for a lifetime.
Clubs, exercise groups, and other interactive groups are available all over the place for people who want to join. Here are two guidelines to consider when forming or joining such groups.
- Hang out with people who energize you. Avoid those who drag you down.
- Find a group that does a lot of the things that make you feel alive. Once again, avoid those that bore you or depress you.
My wife tells me that half the fun of her annual get together is in the planning and figuring out what they will do when they are together, besides just catching up. The other half is in the “doing”.
Edie returns from these trips rejuvenated and renewed. When she gets home, she is already excited and enthusiatic in anticipation of what the next year’s trip will bring. It’s fun for me to be on the receiving end of that energy and excitement.
So don’t let old friendships die. Hang on to them. Or consider making new ones. Don’t let retirement turn into isolation and lethargy. Interact often with those who make you feel good. Avoid those who make you feel bad.
And that’s a SeniorFlow Moment. Thank you for reading.
